How to train your brain for confidence
Do you get anxious before you speak in public? Or do you feel confident right before a presentation but as you begin speaking you find yourself getting more nervous? Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) may be just want you need to solve this problem! NLP is the psychology behind the alignment between our thoughts, words and body language. Richard Bandler and John Grinder, the founders of Neuro-linguistic programming suggest that there is a connection between neurological processes (neuro-), language (linguistic) and behavioral patterns learned through experience (programming), and that these can be altered to achieve specific goals in life. So the way we speak and behave can directly impact our experiences which in turn directly impacts the success we have in achieving our goals.
Developing an awareness of NLP techniques can serve anyone who does any form of public speaking in there life. In fact, NLP has been used in many leadership training programs to help employees break communication habits that are holding them back.
Have we been trained to speak in a way that isn’t benefitting us?
NLP is meant to create a stronger connection between your thoughts, your speech and your body language. Therefore the goal of NLP is to elevate you beyond the subconscious thoughts that are holding you back. What’s fascinating about this is the role that NLP can play in breaking patterns of internal conflict, something everyone faces. How often have you questioned whether you’re doing the right thing, saying the right thing, being bold enough, staying quiet enough, etc? NLP helps break this pattern of these underlying thoughts and helps you develop a stronger connection with your truest thoughts so that you can confidently communicate in a way that feels the most authentic to you.
Amy Curran, one of the founders of 2 Empower You, A Neuro-Linguistic training program, says that one of the ways she works with Female Entrepreneurs specifically is by replacing the thoughts of fear and self-doubt in their minds with empowering thoughts and having them visualize a positive outcome. For example, visualizing a standing ovation after a presentation as opposed to your peers judging you or responding negatively. Another NLP technique is ‘Reframing’, which refers to replacing a fear in your mind to a thought that triggers a more positive emotion. For example, replacing the anxiety you feel about giving a presentation with excitement for having the opportunity to share your ideas with your coworkers.
Try this exercise
10 minutes before you’re about to speak in public visualize yourself confidently stepping in front of your peers and thoughtfully sharing your ideas. Imagine them listening to you with intent and being impressed with everything you’re saying. Imagine them patting you on the back after the presentation and telling you you did a great job. Meditate on this visualization before your presentation and notice how much more confident you feel in your presentation.
Let’s talk a little bit about body language. Body language can not only change how others perceive us, it actually changes how we perceive ourselves. Your body language can actually directly increase or decrease the levels of serotonin in your brain. An article by Fast Company on The Surprising and Powerful links between Posture and Mood implies that although we may want to curl up in a hunched over posture when we’re sad, sitting this way can actually make us feel more sad. This theory is called “Embodied Cognition” and is the idea that the conversation between your mind and body runs both ways. The brain has a section that picks up on confidence. This section of your brain can be triggered from doing something that boosts thoughts about yourself leading to a more confident mental state. It can even be triggered by standing in a way where your brain thinks you feel more confident – think power pose!
Your body language tells your brain when you’re feeling confident. Your brain then tells you that you feel confident and thus - you naturally begin to feel more confident!
Here are some example of confident body language that will send positive triggers to your brain:
Stand up straight
Keep your chin up
Don't fidget (use the paper clip technique if you’re a fidgeter")
Avoid putting your hands in your pockets
Pause instead of using filler words (avoid using words like ‘um’ and ‘like’. Take the time to pause to think about your next word)
The control is in your hands, now put them on your hips and own your confidence